Friday, January 20, 2006

Freaking Cold

It can't be more than 60 degrees in here, man. Freezing. And only a few degrees warmer upstairs. See, we have no insulation, which means that, even though it's probably only about 50 degrees outside, it's also 50 degrees inside. Chew on that one for awhile, those of you in Seattle who thought we were moving to some kind of tropical paradise when we came down here to San Francisco. Nope. Cold.

Is there a code of etiquette for locker room conversations? More specifically, if you start a conversation with a guy who is undressing, is it then okay to continue the conversation once you've both entered the shower room? My instinct is to say "no," which did not dissuade the very nice Buddhist I met at the gym Tuesday.

Normally, I don't speak to anyone at the gym. I slap on my headphones, crank up the sports radio and off I go. Sometimes I feel a little bit outcast when I see guys talking to each other either out on the floor or in the locker room, but this is the avenue I chose. I live with it.

Last Tuesday, I was in the locker room nuding up for my shower, when the phone rang. It was my wife, asking some questions about our first basketball practice. I must have seemed like the kind of guy who invites random comments from strangers while nude, because this guy chimes in with a bunch of questions about coaching kids, my kid, etc. Not a problem. We were still partially clothed, and in the locker room. We talk about kids, the conversation ends, off he goes to the shower.

Here's the thing, though -- I'm ready for the shower ten seconds after he leaves. So I grab my stuff, head into the shower room, and start to obey what I thought was proper etiquette concerning large, open shower areas. I turn toward the wall and say nothing. While it is true that back in Jr. High School, guys not only talked in the shower but also slid all over the place on their butts, Jr. High School was almost 30 years ago.

But no! Apparently you can continue a conversation right where you left off, even though both of you are butt-naked and all soaped up! Said conversation can continue while you both shampoo, rinse and shave, and will show no sign of stopping even as you both towel off.

And the worst part is that if you face toward the shower head / wall, you won't be able to hear what the other guy is saying. You have to actually face him to understand. My advice when this happens: keep your eyes locked with his.

Man, it's cold down here. I'd love to go upstairs, but we have to do our financial aid forms now. That's right. Financial aid for fourth grade. Gotta love the city by the bay.


Blogger Chris said...

I am in utter disbelief that you actually have EVER showered in a group shower, considering you can barely pee (requiring only your unit be disrobed) in a public restroom.

4:43 PM  
Blogger hocus_lopez said...

This begs the fundamental question, what are you doing showering at the gym? Do they have a special soap or condition that really brings your hair to life? I thought we left the communal showers behind us in Junior High School (for those of us that "played" sports in High School we didn't have to take PE, so there were no state mandated cleanings like Jr. High).

After your workout, go home and take a shower. That solves the problem of the guy bugging you in the shower, unless of course he's Rockwell.

10:50 AM  

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