The Cat was Away...

Bachelor weekend is over. I spent it well, reaching a level of debauchery previously acheived only by English nannies and smurfs. Even my wife was embarassed by my lack of ambition.

Bullock (upon calling at 8:45 Saturday night): I didn't think you'd be home. What are you doing?
Me: Watching "Sportscenter" and eating popcorn.
B: That's pretty sad. Why aren't you out?
M: I don't know. Didn't feel like it.

But don't get any crazy ideas that I completely towed the line. For example, the remote did not return to its home in the drawer all weekend. It stayed right in front of the TV, where it was easy to find.

On Saturday morning, after a night spent sleeping diagonally and using three pillows, I did not make the bed. Instead, I merely pulled the covers up, folded them down halfway. The accent pillows were left sloppily arranged on the rocking chair. On Saturday night, I used the bathroom and left the toilet seat up.

This after leaving it down for most of the weekend.

Prior to her departure, the always-efficient S. Bullock managed to crank out a load of dishes, which then sat, clean, in the dishwasher until roughly 30 minutes before her return.

Though I did not consume gallons of alcoholic beverages, my diet was atrocious. On Friday, I ate pretzels. Bags and bags of pretzels, washed down with not one but two Black Cherry Vanilla Cokes. I'm coming around to the new Coke flavor, already preferring it to regular and Cherry Coke. However, I have noticed a certain desperation in recent Coke advertising. Something is going on there.

Here is what I ate on Saturday:

eclair
cheese sandwich
Coke
pretzels
beer
couple of slices of pizza
malted milk balls
popcorn

Yes, I know, gross. And I also know that this is a sad indication that, once we pass our nightlife prime, we are reduced to that which we knew in childhood. I am the first to admit that I have the pallet (sp?) of an 8-year-old. And that I ate the popcorn in an attempt to overcome the sluggish, sugar-coma feeling that came with the malted milk balls.

Actually, I spent most of the weekend working, in-between receiving periodic Legoland updates. I thought I'd have these long, relaxing mornings, followed by a little bit of work and then some hardcore bar flying. Instead, my mornings seemed not quite in synch, I worked longer than I'd planned, and no bars were flown.

Tomorrow, I will hit the gym.