Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Hot Chocolate Incident

Memo to the people who make the lids that go on to-go coffee cups, or in my case, hot chocolate cups:

You need to work on the seal between the lid and the cup. It works fine in low-stress situations -- sitting, walking, waving your cup around to illustrate a point. But what happens when the lid is put to the test? What if you're tense, driving, arguing, running?

I didn't get the name of the outfit that made the lid I slapped on this morning's hot chocolate, but if I did, they would be getting a disgruntled letter from me today. Everything was fine as I walked, slipped next door to Starbucks to get a lemon scone (with great satisfaction, I placed my Creighton's hot chocolate on the Starbucks counter to get my money. Sorry, no coffee for me. Just a scone.), and continued to my car.

Creighton's is a few blocks from my Zephyr Wednesday sales meeting, at which I have become dead man walking. I have five months to complete 3 deals, they've said. I am still considering whether that is realistic.

So I wasn't in the greatest mood to begin with.

I pull out and go to turn right onto Portola, one hand on the steering wheel, one on my hot chocolate. As I complete my turn, the lid pops up off of the cup. The hot chocolate, which has splashed against the lid during the turn, stays up, landing violently all over the inside of the Acura -- which, by the way, I now only drive on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. So in addition to the discomfort of driving a car full of pools of hot chocolate, I have the added burden of knowing that I must remove every single drop of liquid before returning the car to Sandra Bullock on Thursday.

By the time I completed my turn, hot chocolate was everywhere. It was on the steering wheel, all across the cd player, on the passenger's seat, in the console, on the gear shift, and only a little, thankfully, on my inexpensive Kenneth Cole Reaction pants. I slammed the cup down into the wet cup holder and wished I was a swearing guy, all while being careful to drive sensibly.

Since I am not a swearing guy, I was limited to "Shoot!" and my dad's famed "Aaargh!" as I wrung the hot chocolate out of my hands. Since it had coated the steering wheel, my hands stuck as I drove, stickiness being my least favorite of feelings.

I arrived at my meeting disgruntled, with small brown spots all over my hands and wrists. My cup of remaining hot chocolate sat smugly in the cup holder, hiding about 1/4" of hot chocolate that had gathered underneath, creating a small replica of the mustard-off pools they have in Katroo. Again, I could only exclaim "Aargh!"

It is bad enough to be a dead man walking at a work meeting. Even worse to enter that meeting late, with hot chocolate dripping off both hands, then place your cup on the table only to have it leave thick, dark rings. Because I was late, I had to park a block away, thereby short-circuiting my plan to grab some wet paper towels and wipe off my interior. Instead, the car sat, growing stickier by the moment.

It plagued me all day. During our Wednesday tour of homes, I rode with the very thin, ultra marathon-running Metro Rob, enjoying myself and working out my present career crises. Still, occasionally I would remember. I'd picture the inside of my car and grind my teeth. When we completed the tour, it was like waking up the morning after being dumped by your girlfriend. "Ah, everything is fine... No! That's right! There is hot chocolate all over the inside of my car!"

Happily, the offending fluids have been eradicated. I returned home and immediately ran up, grabbed a wash cloth and began furiously wiping down the Acura's interior. Sandra Bullock will be none the wiser. My cheap pants will survive, and the Jawa thought the entire deal was gut-bustingly hilarious.

That's the kind of respect I command.

16 Comments:

Anonymous flush puppy said...

good lord. that'll teach you to drink and drive. or at least, turn and drink. why on earth did you bring the cup into the meeting?! and if you think SB won't notice, you're nuts.

3:47 PM  
Blogger moosh said...

what on earth were you doing drinking hot chocolate on a summer's day?!

2:51 AM  
Blogger Lefty said...

after two weeks of (for us, at least) unbearable heat, the fog has returned.

and there was much rejoicing.

9:40 AM  
Blogger Lefty said...

after two weeks of (for us, at least) unbearable heat, the fog has returned.

and there was much rejoicing.

9:43 AM  
Blogger moosh said...

it's been so hot here, i could really do with a bit o fog. we ain't built for heat.

3:10 AM  
Blogger Lefty said...

us neither. that's why there has been much rejoicing.

10:26 AM  
Blogger Bud and/or Marsi said...

hot?!
m

5:02 PM  
Blogger Butter Goats said...

You should get iced chocolate milks. No worries about burns. Please don't give Howard Schultz any money. He sold our Sonics to Oklahoma! There has to be a nice little independent coffee shop that has decent pastries in town. Mrs. Butter Goats gets a stern talking to whenever she enters one now. Bad goat bad!

9:19 PM  
Blogger Butter Goats said...

Oh yeah, I forgot. The lids on the iced drinks seem to stay on better. Think iced.

9:22 PM  
Blogger Bud and/or Marsi said...

118 is hot - last friday. people need to go and support the sonics, ray allen is really good. the fans there don't even realize what they have in him and rashard lewis. the sonics aren't going to okc...that would be like the dodgers leaving new york or the raiders leaving oakland.... besides, does detlef scrhempf even own a cowboy hat? he's going to end up an assistant there in the next few years.

11:07 PM  
Blogger moosh said...

when it reaches more than 15 degrees here, we all go into meltdown. Seriously - 16 degrees and people go crazy with flip flops and the like.

3:17 AM  
Blogger Lefty said...

Attention, readers: to convert to farenheit, please double and add 40. So when Moosh talks about 16 degrees C, she is talking about approximately 72 F.

12:37 PM  
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