Thursday, September 21, 2006

Shake it Up

For the past two weeks, I've been obsessed with the idea of a milkshake. I haven't had one yet, but as I tally up the items I have had instead of a milkshake, I start to wonder about the logic in my milkshake-avoidance policy.

I'm not a habitual milkshake drinker (eater?) by anyone's measuring stick. I can't remember the last time I ordered one. I had some of the Shaman's chocolate Ben & Jerry's milkshake during our first day of summer Fisherman's Wharf outing, but as far as actually walking into a place and ordering a milkshake -- it was long enough ago that I don't remember it.

But I do have a history with them. My first job was at the Baskin-Robbins on Tustin Avenue in Orange, where I often ignored house rules concerning limiting personal ice cream consumption. For awhile, each shift I worked featured a french vanilla shake, frozen for the final two hours of the shift, to be enjoyed following closing. I was eventually fired from that job for defacing a drawing of a smurf, and for juggling the schedule to allow me to work alongside my girlfriend.

During my first two years of college, I enjoyed the largesse of my roommate, The Funniest Guy in the World, who was a milkshake afficionado. He actually had a hand-held mixer, provided by his parents, the King and Queen Bee, who were unusual in that they -- well, actually, it was his dad, the King Bee -- encouraged unusual, actually uniquely state fair-like unusual, behavior like having your own hand-held mixer with which to make milkshakes. Malts, for him. Milkshakes for me.

And who cared back then? We were 18, 19 years old, 185 pounds of low-fat, carefree teenage hedonism. Bring on the milkshakes!

So why, now, after 20+ years of only occasional milkshake consumption, do I find myself thinking of milkshakes? And why is it that, though every day I tell myself that today I will have that milkshake, have I not had one yet?

In the milkshake's place I've substituted all manner of attempted lesser evils, but when I add them up, the aggregate total of their life-shortening potential exceeds that of a single milkshake, and yet the satisfaction I've derived from them falls far short.

Last week I had actual ice cream. They had milkshakes, but I figured a small ice cream cone would damage my body less. Anticipating soft serve, I received instead two small scoops whose flavor, shape and consistency recalled the days of the Thrifty Drugs $0.05 per scoop cones. I was so disappointed that I didn't even finish it. I tossed it into someone's brown trask can on Capp Street.

Yesterday, as I drove to Sacramento to see my grandparents, I stopped at a bakery, figuring that a single cookie might make me forget about milkshakes. But no! Instead I got a too-large, very dry chocolate chip muffin. Not cold, didn't involve a straw, left me thirsty, bloated and unsatisfied. This after passing several fast food places. No way does a McDonald's shake stand in for the real thing.

And there have been small, "fun size" candy bars, grabbed in secret from the admin's desk at my part-time job. I've always wondered what's so "fun" about a smaller candy bar? I find that I have more "fun" with more bar, myself.

I don't want to tack a milkshake onto a meal. I could have done that, also last week, when we went to that nice place in Noe Valley. They had milkshakes, but I was already having a garden burger and fries.

No, I want no distraction when I finally have my milkshake. I don't want to go in full, telling myself that THIS is the milkshake I've been waiting for. I want to be alone, maybe in the middle of the day, sitting down or walking, with my milkshake. Probably vanilla, though maybe something exotic with caramel thrown in.

And once I do that, I will be cured. No more milkshake obsession. Back to good food, like carrots and yogurt.


Blogger Bud and/or Marsi said...

mmmmm, double-double, fries, and a shake.... i'm really hungry now. thanks.

11:09 PM  
Anonymous Gedalya ben Yitzhak said...

Since you don't have a Ruby's, B & R is the only solution.

8:50 AM  
Anonymous flush puppy said...

that is about the saddest damn post ever. you know why you haven't had a real milkshake - SB would find out and berate you endlessly. for god's sake, you OWE yourself a milkshake while eating a garden burger. two words - RED MILL.

10:04 AM  
Blogger P.G. said...

And still no details about the Volvo?! Ironic that this is your POST real-estate vehicle.

10:33 AM  
Blogger Lefty said...

what's really ironic is that i make more money working 2 days a week than i made in real estate...

12:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[p]Instead of going all the way up the calf, short styles, like the Cove and Classic Mini only reach the ankle or bottom of the calf . The [url=]cheap ugg boots sale uk
[/url] Ugg Tall Whitley Chocolate 5230 are made of sheepskin and wool high Whitley . Having the right material with you and being equipped with the right training is essential [url=]cheap ugg boots sale[/url] in this case because you never know who you will run into . It is also simple inside adapting temp in accordance with in the [url=]ugg boots uk outlet[/url] garden environment which often means the hip space inside popular days and nights . So I suggest you to go with the ugg boots for kids Ugg Boots For Kids Related Articles - ugg, boots, Email [url=]ugg boots uk[/url] this Article to a Friend! Receive Articles like this one direct to your email box!Subscribe for free today! . Without [url=]ugg boots sale[/url] them, today' s people will never get approach to luxurious comfort and warmth in freezing winter days . any with [url=]ugg boots sale online[/url] mullet haircuts, ridiculous sideburns to not mention ugly meat pies . For [url=]ugg boots australia[/url] many individuals, UGG boots provide the perfect insulation and comfort for the winter months.[/p]

5:53 PM  
Blogger ninest123 said...

hollister, marc jacobs, moncler, bottes ugg, pandora jewelry, wedding dresses, moncler outlet, moncler, thomas sabo, ugg pas cher, sac louis vuitton pas cher, doudoune canada goose, pandora charms, replica watches, pandora charms, moncler, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, pandora jewelry, canada goose, louis vuitton, moncler, ugg boots uk, canada goose outlet, canada goose, moncler, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, louis vuitton, canada goose uk, swarovski, moncler, canada goose, canada goose, links of london, coach outlet, swarovski crystal, moncler

7:55 PM  
Blogger ninest123 said...

nike air max, vans shoes, lancel, valentino shoes, ray ban, chi flat iron, bottega veneta, new balance, gucci, hollister, mac cosmetics, herve leger, timberland boots, soccer jerseys, instyler, nike air max, louboutin, abercrombie and fitch, baseball bats, karen millen, mcm handbags, asics running shoes, beats by dre, nfl jerseys, juicy couture outlet, toms shoes, juicy couture outlet, wedding dresses, hollister, ghd, ralph lauren, babyliss, north face outlet, supra shoes, birkin bag, celine handbags, oakley, montre pas cher, insanity workout, converse, reebok shoes, ferragamo shoes, p90x workout, vans, mont blanc, soccer shoes, nike roshe, jimmy choo shoes, north face outlet, converse outlet

7:59 PM  
Blogger ninest123 said...

oakley pas cher, burberry outlet online, true religion jeans, true religion jeans, nike air max, hogan, ugg boots, ray ban uk, coach purses, true religion outlet, converse pas cher, michael kors, nike air max, michael kors, nike roshe, new balance pas cher, nike air max, north face, timberland, nike free run uk, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, vanessa bruno, lululemon, michael kors outlet, longchamp, michael kors, ray ban pas cher, burberry, hermes, north face, sac guess, michael kors, hollister, mulberry, air force, nike trainers, vans pas cher, nike huarache, tn pas cher, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, abercrombie and fitch, ralph lauren uk, lacoste pas cher, true religion jeans, nike blazer, hollister, hollister pas cher

8:02 PM  
Blogger ninest123 said...

gucci outlet, prada handbags, nike outlet, air max, kate spade handbags, louboutin, ray ban sunglasses, longchamp pas cher, air jordan pas cher, prada outlet, michael kors, jordan shoes, ray ban sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, chanel handbags, longchamp outlet, nike roshe run, polo ralph lauren outlet, replica handbags, nike air max, louboutin pas cher, tiffany and co, nike free, uggs on sale, nike air max, christian louboutin outlet, louis vuitton, nike free, ugg boots, polo ralph lauren outlet, ugg boots, coach outlet, sac longchamp, louboutin outlet, tiffany jewelry, louboutin shoes, replica watches, longchamp, tory burch outlet, ralph lauren pas cher, coach outlet, replica watches, kate spade outlet, burberry, ray ban sunglasses

8:06 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home