Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Monkey Suit

Eventually, I would find the trend -- in which Sandra Bullock does the bills Sunday night and then does not speak to me until Wednesday -- unnerving. And eventually, though I'd rather not, I would begin looking for ... a (gasp) job.

I've said before that one of my least favorite things is when people act as if my underemployed state is part of a massive con job I'm pulling, wink-wink. Trust me; it's not by design. But I also say that, were money no object, I'd probably be fine writing my little magazine articles, covering high school sports for the San Francisco Examiner, and pretending that a really important novel and or screenplay was lurking just beneath the surface.

Given that money is not just an object, but, for the sadly overextended residents of San Francisco, the only object, the above option does not exist. I would like my wife to speak to me more than 4 days per week. And so, I have been looking for a job.

The possibility of a job dropped down onto me from thin air a few weeks ago, when my friend the Drama Queen, who is battling illness, took a leave of absence from her job, which involves "technical editing." She told her boss who I was, I called her boss, and so it is that I find myself trotting down Montgomery Street, completely overdressed and sweating, at 3:06 this afternoon.

Is it appropriate to wear a tie to an interview in the post-dotcom age? Sandra Bullock claims so. I don't think so. Given our relative career arcs, I go with the tie. Which is now flapping in the wind.

Bullock tells me to go with my best -- the green pants, light blue shirt and subtly plaid jacket I bought for Uncle Sam's wedding. Uncle Sam now has a 2-year-old. I have the same dress-up outfit. On a positive note, the pants still fit.

But that doesn't make me feel any less like a fraud as I lope down Diamond Street on the way to BART. For all anyone knows, I am a regular 42-year-old guy on his way back to work after ... lunch? The iPod I have on could be playing REO Speedwagon or some other 1980s hits. The bag I carry could contain important documents, not three copies of my resume, and the Timbuk2 bag itself could have been bought at a store, or given to me as a gift, not tossed my way by an electrician who'd gotten a load of them after doing some work at the bag factory.

I pass my reflection in a window: bald guy, sport coat, slacks, black shoes. iPod. Squinting, because my cheap sunglasses broke over the weekend.

I'm not listening to REO Speedwagon. I'm listening to Wilco, which relaxes me completely, so much that as I saunter up Montgomery Street, to the address I got from the company's web site, I feel as though I'm the protagonist of a music video, dressed like everyone else but really so very special, possessor of truths and emotions of great depth.

In some ways, I realize, I miss the walk from BART through downtown to some sort of job. It, along with Friday happy hours and the frozen yogurt place in the alleyway, was my favorite part of having a job, back when I did things like have a job.

Imagine my delight when I emerged from the fog and realized that my potential new place of business was on the 26th floor of the Transamerica Tower. How iconic!

Here's where the running and sweating begins.

The URS Corporation has three San Francisco offices. 600 Montgomery is the Global Headquarters. Technical Editing does not take place at the global HQ. 2:58. I don't even know where 221 Main Street is.

Have you ever run down a crowded city street, holding your arm out as if to hail a taxi that you cannot afford? Have you done it in 4-year-old dress-up clothes, sweating, an aged tie flapping from around your neck? Have you done it panicked, convinced that you have blown an interview for a job that seemed a slam-dunk? And you think, "Man, I've screwed up again. How many days of silence will follow this one?"

I have.

But the business world is so strange. Thanks to my cool new phone, I found out where 221 Main Street was, and arrived there at 3:16, drenched in sweat. I figured I was far from the first interviewee to make this mistake, but still would have preferred to show up on time, unsweaty. I'd prepared, after all, to approach this interveiw as if I were a very experienced, very busy writer/editor who'd deigned to look into this job only because my friend the Drama Queen needed someone to fill in. Well. That's out the window when you're disheveled and late. And missing your tie, which you ripped off and stuffed into your jacket pocket in a fit of anger two blocks away.

Now the truth is, I really need this job. I want my wife to speak to me. But I would have liked to at least pretend like I can pick and choose.

Of course, I showed up and the guy interviewing me had no idea I was late. And he wasn't listening when I mentioned that I'd gone to the wrong building. All he knew was that I'd shown up totally disheveled and sweaty, which didn't seem all that unsettling to him anyway.

I swear, the logic of the business world completely eludes me, almost as much as the aptitude for using power tools.

The interview itself went well, I think. It was pretty brief and pretty light, and he said I was "obviously very qualified," which I won't take as a comment on his fitness as a manager. He had a cool English accent and a ton of pictures of his kids on his office walls, and when the HR lady asked how I knew the Drama Queen, he commented, "They have the same parole officer." Very droll, which I like.

So cross your fingers. I need some income, now.

Then I limped home. The dress shoes I was wearing gave me blisters. Everyone who saw me on BART could assume that I was coming home from a long, rewarding day at work all they wanted. I just wanted to get into some shorts and a t-shirt, which I did effectively enough that my neighbor the Poet With the 40-inch Vertical commented, "You're looking kind of punky today," when I passed him on the way down to the grocery store.

This afternoon I mentioned to the Jawa that S. Bullock would be coming home early because I had a job interview. "A job interview?" he said. "Allright!" I guess the heart-warming father-son bonding period is drawing to a close.

Lets hope that I soon have a job. Some kind of job. Not one that hurts my square peg self so badly that I have to write cryptic messages on people's white boards or perform strange dances in the stairwells when no one's looking.

Don't laugh. It's happened before.

But I guess no matter how much time I spend reading the blogs of 25-year-old would-be filmmakers and their cool, counterculture friends, it won't change the basic fact that I am a 42-year-old father and husband with a butt-kickingly huge mortgage, who enjoys being a part of the mainstream enough to buy a Volvo the first chance he got. I spent my bohemian days playing volleyball, waiting tables and looking like a writer. The option to hang out with people who were actually sacrificing so they could take their shot at creating something cool was always there, but I chose to spend my time sitting on the fence, trying to sound convincing, instead.

Give me a job, any job, is a just reward for the decisions I've made.

7 Comments:

Blogger Dave K said...

At least they weren't brown shoes.

We will think good thoughts.

5:33 PM  
Blogger Marky said...

Best of luck!!

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[p]Cheap ugg boots the perfect gift

Gifts are the symbol of love and ties two people [url=http://www.cheapuggboots4sale.co.uk]cheap ugg boots sale uk
[/url] in bounds of love perfect catalyst to enhance your love especially on personal moments . A m o n g t h e o b v i o u s b e n e f i t s b e l o n g i n g t o t h e U g g i s t h e f a c t t h a t t h e s t i t c h i n g i s . [url=http://www.newcheapuggbootsau.co.uk]cheap ugg boots[/url] e . If you have screw-in studded rugby footwear, these call for further treatment to hold the studs and thread spot . UGG Earmuffs for both men and womenUGG [url=http://www.cheapuggboots4sale.co.uk]ugg boots sale online[/url] Earmuffs for both men and women ugg classic tall Outdoor clothing new uggs and . UGG Boots-Better Investment for Chic & Classy LooksClothing, footwear, bags, watches, hats, etc are definitely investment you make for your appearance . These boots will go right the way up your calves . Excellence For All A central principle of Excellence for All [url=http://www.uggbootsclearanceukonline.co.uk]ugg boots clearance uk[/url] is that all children can learn at high levels, regardless of their age, experience, or background.[/p][p]UGG 2010 Cheer You UpWhen it comes to purchasing winter footwear of choice, whether you are fashion-conscious or down to earth, you will surely consider UGG on the top of your shopping list . You'll find fashion conscious folks who hate these ugg [url=http://www.newcheapuggbootsau.co.uk]new ugg boots[/url] bailey button boots; in fact you can find even people who have publicly wanted these boots banned . UGG Gloves, which made according to the market need, you could be able taken adversity of by the amazing mild befitting function, you would not like to crop it off . After i [url=http://www.uggaustraliabootshotsale.co.uk]ugg australia outlet[/url] appeared to be young, I enjoy enjoy our the whole family along the steady flow . You can buy cheap boots here . It also comes in black and stout . Also for girls it is significant that their underwear is [url=http://www.uggbootsukonlinsale.co.uk]cheap ugg boots clearance[/url] sexy.[/p]

5:50 PM  
Blogger ninest123 said...

oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, tiffany jewelry, nike roshe run, louboutin pas cher, tiffany and co, kate spade outlet, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, nike free, louboutin outlet, prada outlet, christian louboutin outlet, tory burch outlet, ray ban sunglasses, jordan shoes, louis vuitton, longchamp outlet, ralph lauren pas cher, louis vuitton outlet, ugg boots, longchamp pas cher, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, replica watches, polo ralph lauren outlet, uggs on sale, air max, louis vuitton outlet, michael kors, louis vuitton, prada handbags, longchamp, nike free, chanel handbags, sac longchamp, burberry, louis vuitton, nike air max, gucci outlet, nike outlet, louboutin, ugg boots, nike air max, replica watches, air jordan pas cher, ray ban sunglasses, louboutin shoes, longchamp outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses

5:27 PM  
Blogger ninest123 said...

nike air max, hermes, oakley pas cher, burberry, coach outlet, coach outlet, lululemon, new balance pas cher, ugg boots, replica handbags, lacoste pas cher, vans pas cher, true religion jeans, michael kors, burberry outlet online, converse pas cher, true religion jeans, michael kors, hogan, sac guess, tn pas cher, coach purses, michael kors outlet, abercrombie and fitch, nike free run uk, michael kors, hollister pas cher, true religion outlet, kate spade handbags, vanessa bruno, timberland, ugg boots, nike air max, michael kors, north face, mulberry, north face, michael kors outlet, nike blazer, michael kors outlet, nike roshe, ralph lauren uk, michael kors outlet, air force, ray ban uk, nike air max, michael kors outlet, hollister, true religion jeans, ray ban pas cher

5:30 PM  
Blogger ninest123 said...

jimmy choo shoes, converse outlet, north face outlet, insanity workout, soccer jerseys, wedding dresses, nike air max, ralph lauren, mcm handbags, oakley, hollister, lululemon, mont blanc, valentino shoes, vans shoes, vans, abercrombie and fitch, nike huarache, new balance, hollister, bottega veneta, nike trainers, birkin bag, celine handbags, ghd, soccer shoes, asics running shoes, instyler, timberland boots, beats by dre, nfl jerseys, converse, reebok shoes, nike roshe, hollister, ferragamo shoes, p90x workout, gucci, louboutin, north face outlet, iphone cases, babyliss, chi flat iron, baseball bats, longchamp, ray ban, nike air max, herve leger, mac cosmetics

5:35 PM  
Blogger ninest123 said...

moncler, moncler outlet, links of london, bottes ugg, moncler, moncler, doudoune canada goose, sac louis vuitton pas cher, juicy couture outlet, canada goose, moncler, pandora charms, pandora charms, replica watches, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, lancel, canada goose, louis vuitton, ugg boots uk, swarovski, louis vuitton, canada goose uk, wedding dresses, moncler, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, hollister, supra shoes, juicy couture outlet, toms shoes, canada goose outlet, ugg pas cher, montre pas cher, canada goose, moncler, karen millen, swarovski crystal, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, marc jacobs, thomas sabo, coach outlet, moncler, canada goose, canada goose outlet

5:38 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home