Monday, April 17, 2006

61 Reasons to Hate the Grateful Dead

1) At their Colma store, Sprint PCS has programmed some of their sample phones to not only play a Grateful Dead song, but also to flash iconic "Dead" images -- the hippie skeleton, a crown of roses, etc.

2) Jerry Garcia once said that he "produced art like some people sweat." Besides being a pretentious thing to say, no fat, hairy guy should ever draw the conversation towards sweat.

3) Bob Weir has performed in little shorts and a polo shirt since the early 1980s.

4) Bands with two drummers suck.

5) Entire generations of children have been forced to believe that this medium-tempo, country-blues music was somehow better than anything produced since.

6) In the words of Diane Arn, "I don't get what this (pointing to stage) has to do with this (pointing to audience hippie doing falling-down-the-stairs dance)

7) Unlike punks, Deadheads don't fight back. If you slam into them, they give you a hurt look and continue grooving.

8) Body odor. Plain and simple.

9)White guys with smug, self-satisfied expressions doing endless arhythmic undulations and making darn sure that you know what a great time they're having.

10) Slow, old vehicles lacking catalytic converters actually pollute more than efficient, modern ones.

11) Dogs wearing bandanas and oversized sunglasses are not funny (see previous entry).

12) Pop songs are not meant to be 25 minutes long.

13) They hijacked a set from John Fogarty during the 1992 Bill Graham Tribute concert at Golden Gate park, proving that the Grateful Dead can make any song sound identical to the one they just played.

14) You could go to a Grateful Dead show and set up a razors and deodorant concession. You'd go broke.

15) Phish.

16) The adjective "noodling," as it applies to guitar solos.

17) The band has a 100% death rate for keyboardists. And keyboardists aren't even cool.

18) During the 80s, did you ever peek into a friend's cassette collection and find 150 homemade tapes with dates and places written on them? "1/15/77, Red Rocks."

19) They hijacked many punks (including my once fierce little sister), making them into what they once hated, hippies.

20) "Hey, dude, I've got no beef with you! Mellow out!"

21) Tie-dye should, by all rights, have never lasted as a (bad) fashion choice beyond 1971.

22) They were the highest-grossing touring act in the world for the last 5 years of their career, and yet continued to promote themselves as part of a roving community of like-minded peers.

23) My little sister's friends humiliated my dad by telling him he "looked like Jerry Garcia!" while undoubtedly wearing beatific, vacuous smiles.

24) Body odor. Oh, wait, I already said that. But have you ever been to a Dead show? It's strong enough to merit two mentions.

25) Mardi Gras shows included gigantic heads being paraded around by guys wearing stilts. I ask you, where are the mimes?

26) Jerry Garcia died, and yet the band continues to re-form and play under various names.

27) Now that they're old (the ones who aren't dead), the surviving members of the Grateful Dead intend to carry on their public personas as rockers and members of the cultural elite. Witness Mickey Hart's books about drumming.

28) Mickey Hart's books on drumming and percussion have opened the eyes of legions of Babyboomers to drumming from around the world, thus setting up very uncomfortable situations for teenage boys who enter their date's home, only to be assaulted by faux-hip parents grooving to indecipherable drumming.

29) Drum circles.

30) Crop circles. Okay, that's taking it too far.

31) The verb "grooving."

32) The fact that the only good brew pub in the Haight is called "Magnolia," after the Grateful Dead song, "Sugar Magnolia." You can have the psychedelics, but please leave us the beer.

33) 22-year-olds shouldn't listen to 40-year-old rock and roll. It's just wrong.

34) Vegans who smoke cigarettes.

35) When we lived in Seattle, the Grateful Dead would play shows at Memorial Stadium. Two things would happen: 1) The entire of lower Queen Anne would be overrun with hippies. 2) We could hear the freaking Grateful Dead from our place on Capitol Hill. There was no escape.

36) Panhandling kids from upper-middle class homes.

37) My neighbor has a gigantic Grateful Dead tattoo.

38) Twenty-minute drum solos that include bongos, timpanis and weird, gong-like things.

39) Sometimes a Deadhead will talk for more than an hour about the intricate musical changes that took place after Pigpen died.

40) Deadheads somehow equate following a band around with being an artist. Sorry, making friendship bracelets doesn't count.

41) My brother-in-law the Rocket Scientist professes to like the Grateful Dead. It seems unlikely, because he's as straight as they come, and he has a very dry sense of humor, so I'm not sure if he was telling me the truth, but frankly, he kind of intimidates me so I was afraid to ask.

42) Dreadlocks on white guys.

43) Massive groups of people laughing uproariously at stuff that's not at all funny.

44) Dirty, naked kids running around because "they're free."

45) Each member of the Grateful Dead lives in a gigantic house. I live in a small, 2-bedroom place. I'll bet your house is closer in size to mine than theirs.

46) There is in-fighting among the surviving members of the group and mismanagement of the group's business. Dude, mellow out.

47) The word "mellow."

48) The fact that any group with a strong, grassroots following and a good live stadium show is automatically compared to the Grateful Dead.

49) Too many band members. Again, two drummers? Two guitarists AND a keyboard player? Do the guys on stilts wearing the oversized heads get the same percentage of the cut as the guy who hits the timpani?

50) Dirty hippies saying "trips" and "bud" as you walk through the parking lot.

51) Hacky-sack is not a sport, though it is kind of fun to walk up to a bunch of hippies kicking that thing around and say, "I've got winners, okay?"

52) Some of Jerry Garcia's country-tinged side projects were pretty good. As a result, however, Deadheads now claim country and bluegrass as their own, and nothing can destroy a good country or bluegrass show as quickly as a couple of hippies doing the falling-down-the-stairs dance alone in front of the band while everyone else is just watching.

53) Deadhead dads still think that putting their kid in a tie-dyed t-shirt is a totemic expression meaning "I'm not uncool like those other, old dads." Even worse, tie-dyed t-shirts that say "Grateful Dad."

54) Suede boots with soft soles. Totally impractical

55) Tevas with white socks. Tevas with skirts. Tevas with camping shorts. Tevas.

56) Jerry Garcia OD'ing on cocaine in the front seat of his Jaguar.

57) They ruined Ken Kesey. Okay, maybe it was the other way around?

58) Creepy skull.

59) Deadheads seem to lack any critical skills. Or perhaps it's more of a willful jettison of them. Either way, it's hard to debate someone who's bobbing their head and humming.

60) Everything is most decidedly NOT cool and mellow, and sometimes there ARE worries.

61) Even now, some ten years after Jerry Garcia's death, this band who recorded their first single in 1964 still dominates Bay Area culture enough to annoy me.

171 Comments:

Anonymous flush puppy said...

You forgot that there's an ice cream flavor named after them.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Bud and/or Marsi said...

ouch. the allman brothers have two drummers and their pretty good.....

9:36 AM  
Blogger Lefty said...

your wife can tell you that bands with two drummers made punk rock necessary.

10:20 AM  
Blogger Bud and/or Marsi said...

most of those reasons are the very ones that made that "scene" only fun for a short while. and let me add, we were deadheads. the difference is a job,a home, and a preferance for bathing. o yeah, AND having a frickin ticket before you get to the show. miracle, please! anyway, you left out the delightful smelling patchouli. i hate that stuff to this day.
m

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Noodle's Mom said...

I,too, find it interesting that my husband likes the Grateful Dead (being a deadhead is one stage I never went through) as I don't think of him as ever having been "mellow", and we all know that tie-die and big,white tennis shoes are incompatible.

9:40 AM  
Blogger Bud and/or Marsi said...

you mean he doesn't wear a tye-dye and tivas under that flight suit?

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Noodle's Mom said...

wouldn't be regulation....

3:04 PM  
Anonymous KT said...

I'm right there with you, lefty. Joe and I went to see a jam band at the Independent in SF and some chick (I think- sometimes it's hard to tell) with dreads kept backing up while "mellow dancing" and one of her dreadlocks ended up in my beer. Judging by how she smelled (and how dreads are created), I'm pretty sure they weren't anyway near clean. One word: gross.

10:21 PM  
Blogger Ken Dunque said...

I like the suede shoes w/soft soles from a native american perspective, seems really 'natural' and takes be back to a time when buffalo roams the great plains. As for the dead, I don't really understand the whole thing, although I did like 'touch of grey' when it came out, and some songs from workingman's dead. Thankfully, I have no interaction with any piece of the dead culture, ever. I didn't even know it was still around.

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude!
You've like totally harshed my mellow!

WOOF!

9:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very few of these comments have anthing to do with the music... No one forces you to listen!

3:32 PM  
Blogger Lefty said...

I have nothing to add. I think that comment speaks for itself.

4:57 PM  
Blogger freedda said...

I actually liked the Dead quite a bit but I was never a Deadhead in any real sense of the word. I did know a woman who was and who would leave her job for days or weeks at a time to follow the band on tour (she owned a business and her partners let her take the time off).

Whenever I'd see her, all she'd talk about was the Dead and about Jerry, and always as if I was one of the initiated, which she knew I wasn't: did I see the shows in Santa Monica? Did I hear the interview with Jerry on the radio?

Finally, I got fed up with her smugness and said something like: "you know that band is pretty good, and they'd be great if only they wouldn't let that guitar play guy sing."

She was pretty cool to me after that, and never when on about jerry and the band with me around. Of course that all changed when a) she broke up with her boyfriend who was more of a deadhead than she, and b) she started going to a psychic church, which gave her something else to be holier-than-thou about.

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the grateful dead rock.
just because your a stuck up
asshole who doesnt appreciate peace, love, orrr good music doesnt mean you need to bash bands that are
amazing.
they have meaning to their songs.

rock on deadheads and all you hippies out there.
peace man!

2:53 PM  
Blogger RITCHIE said...

1) Bob Weir
2) Deadheads get violent when you say you DON'T like the Grateful Dead - They also are likley to drop pills on people when they argue - HAPPENED TO ME - STRAWBERRY FIELDS , NYC-Deadheads hang out there and DID drop a pill on me after I said I didn't like the Grateful Dead, Bob Weir or Jerry Garcia. NOW I FRIGGIN HATE THE GRATEFUL DEAD - HOPE THEY DIE - HOPE SAN FRANCISCO DIES FOR HAVING SUPPORTED THEM BLINDLY FOR ALL THESE YEARS. THEY HAVE HURT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA - WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN JERRY GARCIA ANY DAY OF THE YEAR.A lot of my fellow Americans feel the exact same way! TOO BAD DEAD HEAD DON"T REALLY LOVE AMERICA OR THEY WOULD BE DOPING CIGS AND DRINKS

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't wait to they all fucking stop so we can utilize the phrase "WE ARE GRATEFUL THEY ARE DEAD"

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't wait TILL they all fucking stop so we can utilize the phrase "WE ARE GRATEFUL THEY ARE DEAD"

9:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait -- since when do people at punk rock shows smell good? Also, not sure when the last time anyone's been walking around in the Haight but there are plenty of strung out punk rockers...

If there's one group of people that Deadheads don't need to take shit from, it's the punk scene.

9:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you're going to slam something it always helps to know what the fuck you are talking about

You don't, hope this helps

I know you think you're somehow being clever and hip, but you're not

HTH

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you're going to slam something it always helps to know what the fuck you are talking about

You don't, hope this helps

I know you think you're somehow being clever and hip, but you're not

HTH

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I first read the title "61 reasons..." I expected 61 clever, funny or insightful reasons. Boy was I wrong.

10:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I first read the title "61 reasons..." I expected 61 clever, funny or insightful reasons. Boy was I wrong.

10:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You dumb ass! You have it all wrong, starting with the fact that deadheads don't fight back, if I ever meet you I'm gonna knock you on you ass for being so short sighted, un imaginative and dumb! Get your facts straight too..Jerry didn't OD On cocaine in his car. And just for the record, psycedelics and beer go together like PB and jelly! Sounds like you could use a good acid trip!

9:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

other than having loyal fanbases, what do phish and grateful dead have in common?
if you said "OMG THEY SOUND THE EXACT SAME LOL!!!!1!11ONEONE!!!!"

then try again

10:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1)bob weir
2)bob weir
3)bob weir

5:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

two words ... bohemian grove!
google it +grateful dead and see what hypocritical idiots they are!

6:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd hate the Grateful Dead too if I had that big of a stick up my ass.

8:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're a fuckin' dickhole ! die !

5:33 PM  
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5:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yawn. Pick a new career... comedy is not for you.

5:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a bunch of crap. Should have called it 62 ways to insult a deadhead. That I would agree with you on but you are obviously someone I would never want to hang out with because you are clearly a maggot infested asshole.

5:53 PM  
Blogger Keith said...

you are a complete douchebag my friend. May the forewinds blow you of a cliff.

6:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"15) Phish."

Seriously?

At least your sister was saved by the music, I feel sorry for somebody like you who dosn't understand. Nobody else loves there fans as much as these guys do.

You really have a problem if the Grateful Dead and their music get you angry like that. I hope you get help.

9:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you should change the title of this to "61 Proofs that I'm an Asshole."

9:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey asshole if you dont like the band dont listen to them

4:02 PM  
Blogger Lefty said...

look: i wrote this five years ago in about 10 minutes. you're embarrassing yourselves. let it go already.

4:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as someone who followed the grateful dead for a time i think you forgot a few things like...
local kids coming to lot to score cheap acid and sell it to their friends for twice as much as they paid.....
people trying to give you free hugs and lice....
just cause your in a drum circle doesn't mean your can play drums...
and buy the way my children loooove wearing their tye-dyes
and for all the negative comments left here mellow out remember only love can conquer hate

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://furthur.net/forum/general-discussion/16776-62-reasons-to-hate-the-grateful-dead#17433

7:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are an ignorant idiot. Biggest asshole ever: you.

5:30 AM  
Blogger tanatiehea said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:07 PM  
Blogger tanatiehea said...

Loved this list. I would make my ex-husband promise only to turn on those HORRIBLE concert tapes after I fell asleep in the car. When I played Buddy Holly singing "Not Fade Away" and he remarked "Hey, that's a Grateful Dead song!" I knew the marriage was over.

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your husband probably married a dead head and doesn't hate his life anymore.

11:56 PM  
Blogger The Music Never Stops said...

that's right. they still dominate the bay area and waaaaay more other areas more than you will ever know, really. but it doesn't really seem u hate the band, seems you hate the crowd. rich musicians/ famous people usually have nice large homes also.

5:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least the Dead had musical ability. Punk rock bands don't know how to play musical instruments and don't know how to sing, so they play with distortion at light speed to cover up the fact that they suck.

6:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should have titled this "61 Ways to Jizz on Grandma's Keyboard". There are plenty of bands that I believe have ruined American culture far more than the Dead, but I have better things to do than write a blog on it. I tend to focus on what I like instead. Maybe you should try too, Lefty.

Oh, and people are supposed to "just watch" country and bluegrass bands now? People like you are what's wrong with this country. Bring on the medium tempo country blues, baby blue.

6:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I see you have a Wilco link as well. Hmm, I know they were influenced by the Dead. Funny.

1:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoever wrote this is extremely ignorant considering the fact that I guarentee all these "hippies"were happier than you could ever imagine to be. They didnt care about being stuck in an office making money they cared about bein around people they cared about and loving every minute they had because they knew life is short. Rethink what your writing before you write it.

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Im a dead head for life and am as peaceful as they come. But for saying America hates the dead, you should be beaten to death slowly and painfully. You are truly an embarrassment Americans. Fuck off and please don't procriate

8:28 PM  
Anonymous Sarah said...

youre ignorant as fuck. grateful dead are the best band in history. if you hate the dead you might as well be dead yourself. if i ever saw you in person i would kick you so hard in the face.

11:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, Sarah, mellow out. Your bad vibes are bringing down the whole scene. And why do you hate capital letters and punctuation so much? Because they're just another tool The Man uses to keep you from kicking people you don't know in the face because they disagree with you about important things... like music? You might want to consider professional help for your obvious issues with tolerance and violence.

11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha!! you know...I had punk rock friends in college back in 1995, whose hatred for the Dead was like...their thing. even then I laughed in their faces and told them the amount of energy they spend hating a band they never really listened to or knew anything about was really fuckin' stupid and a waste of their time. I would ask them why they hated them so much, and their reasons were JUST like yours. Hippies suck, they smell , they take drugs, they aren't tough enough, the music sucks, etc. I could always get them to admit they really didn't know anything about them in the end when they couldn't produce as single example of why they sucked so much other then "it's sounds lame and it's too long" or something to that effect. Besides, Garcia died 11 years after you wrote this. Now it's 17 years since his death. Do you still care to put dead heads down so much? Get a life, dude. Seriously. FAIL.

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Anonymous Kat said...

Wow, where is our compassion and love? Each and every person on earth is intitled to like, hate or love whatever they wish. There is music for all. Rap, country, blues, jazz, classical, to each his own. Please just love one another in the short time that we are blessed to be on this earth. Deadheads, punks, rappers, are all people, bleed the same color and get the same illnesses and die at the end of each journey. Peace be with you all.

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Blogger lilFlowerchild said...

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Blogger lilFlowerchild said...

I'm a dead head as well and The Grateful Dead are my favorite band! You are right about one thing, YES we do get upset when jackasses like you talk negatively about The Grateful Dead because, well... Your wrong! Then you say you wish they were DEAD! WOW! I feel sorry for you. The Grateful Dead hurt America? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT? You make no sense dude! Not only did they not hurt America, Dead heads MAKE America A better place. Everyone should act more like dead heads in stead of acting like whatever rapper is cool that week. And what do you listen to, slipknot,... JZ,....or some other terrible music? You should think about how stupid your going to sound BEFORE you write a blog next time.

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12:13 PM  
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it is utterly amazing that people still believe that love and hate are a dichotomy; clearly, they have not explored logic in great detail...

the real definition of love is merely the commitment to an idea. hate is an idea; hence, hate is a sub-sect of love. now, agape and hate truly are contentious ideas: semantics. keep your fatuous platitudes to yourselves. speaking of, apparently, some people need to learn the difference between your and you're. i mean, seriously, homophone errors should have been corrected in elementary school.

12:15 PM  
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8:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FUCK YOU!!!!

11:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the Dead. This was a hilarious list. All you uptight deadheads should mellow out.

11:13 PM  
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6:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Traveling over 100 shows, I clearly see why some just don't get it. Too much hate in their hearts. And in today's world, a blog all about hate? Very glad there were few of you present in my travels, few and far between. That's why the travels and memories were Grate. Erase that hate, and maybe you, too, will find that peace.

6:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not that funny/insightful/clever, sorry man!

8:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@ anonymous-dude you carry a lot of hate and evil thoughts to call your self a dead head, anyone who get's so defensive over a band-really? how old are you? ten? Hope you find peace-buy the way, do you have a job, a home, a car, kids in college?

4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hoe do you drop a pill on someone? Sounds like you need to smoke some pot and relax

2:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Z int no time to hate"... that is a line from a song by the grateful dead. Words are powerful things. And for a blog called 10, 000 budfahs I would expect to see right language. I will pray for you to open your heart and your mind. Namaste

2:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

to the di*khead that posted this your a negative nancy who doesn't know how to be happy and not live so judgmental. someone very special to me made me a shirt that said grateful dad. that's when i stopped reading. go wack off to mozart some more you narrow minded fool.

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck you.........

12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

eloquent. thoughtful. peaceful, just how the dead would want it. quit harshing my mellow, loser.

12:08 PM  
Blogger the guy that just begs for attention but doesnt give a crap if he gets it or not said...

i think if you have the amount of time on your hands to write this, and not have anything constructive to do than bash some guys making a living through having fun then MELLOW OUT MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

6:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who ever wrote this is a faggot with too much time on their hands. I hope they choke on a dick and die. Sorry we all don't listen to blink 182 or whatever shitty music you listen too. Again die you piece of shit

4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this discussion is awesome. I remember walking into a record store in seattle looking for an album with my kids. the guy working there was covered in tatooes and piercings wearing black clothes and a funky hair style. super nice guy. I asked him if they had this album and he says this store only sells punk and "hardcore". my kids asked me what hardcore was and I had trouble explaining this to them. I guess my point is all music has its trends and followings. its an art form easy to identify with. but it comes down to the music if you like it you like it so who cares about anything else. trends can be annoying but it's not worth putting energy into dissing it. move on and do something productive and let people listen and enjoy what they want. after all those guys like em or hate em have made millions playing music for 30-40 years and I work my ass off doing something I semi enjoy for nothing. what can you say about yourself?

9:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting take on The Grateful Dead however you have something wrong. Deadheads come from every walk of life -- rich poor white green purple we do not care nor judge -- at least true DeadHeads do not -there are a lot of wannabees out there who tour for the drugs the wine the sex for short periods - but the real ones are there for the music and the scores of people we have met and friendships developed we have come to know over the years. For me it has been not only a journey of 45 years on and off the road but a very down to earth lifestyle.
2 drummers are ok by me!
My love will Not Fade Away!

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Nicole said...

No need to get mad folks....if we give into the hatred then they win the argument. This movement has stayed alive for so many years because of the love and acceptance we show! Sometimes you see the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right! There is always love for those who choose to open their minds to the endless possibilities around them. Give love and receive love and push the hate to the side cause aint nobody got tiiiime for that ;)

My heart comes alive with the Dead (~):-}

8:59 AM  
Blogger Katherine Law said...

(~);} NFA

8:05 AM  
Blogger LT said...

Roots run deep... Your mind couldn't handle the love we know. Still to this day step into the phil zone and wig the fuck out!!

9:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a fan of the Grateful Dead and I like your list. It is funny and some of it is true. Music is relative and it is dangerous to expect everyone to like what you like.

9:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And yes, I do have a Grateful Dead Tattoo♪♪♫♪♫

9:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if anything, not fighting back is a good thing. Thats the whole point in peace and music.

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You don't like them because they live in large homes? I guess you don't like any musician then. Get a life.

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Right On

10:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously i love the dead, panic, sci and a lot of jam bands but this douche bag did get one thing right phish phucken phsucks.

6:16 AM  
Anonymous Clementine Jam said...

Having only follow the Live Grateful Dead from 1968-1972, white guys with long hair dancing were tripping on actual, real acid. The scene ended in 1971 but I hung on for an extra year. It WAS ALL OVER. It could only last a certain time. We NEVER TOURED, which is so bogus. Unfortunately, most of these fans missed the real era and therefore created their own folklore. The magic was long gone, but I understand the need to want to recreate it. That can never be done. I was awfully lucky to be born when I was, seeing the greatest music ever created for over a 15 year period. The Grateful Dead were introduced to me by a good friend I hadn't seen for 18 months as I was far away at college. The stars aligned and the time, music and drugs. All at the same time. Naïveté, innocence, experimentation, risk taking and karma brought thousands of people together to see something never done before or since 1970-71. I'm 64 and I have my memories. But moving on was necessary and productive. But deep inside of me resides the young man, boy who GOT ON THE BUS. THERE WAS CAPTAIN NEAL AT THE WHEEL. What a fucking trip.

4:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the grateful dead rock...the guy who wrote this has a few valid points, however, most of his points seem to come from an ASSHOLE.
let me be clear - I love all forms of music...rock, blues, hip hop, sappy 70's love tunes..lol.. and I'm a hard hitting football player that will kick your ass - not for not liking someone's music, but I'm talking about the douchebags that used to pick fights with deadheads in the parking lots. i enjoyed spotting them and telling them to fuckin leave.

5:53 AM  
Blogger Alita Duplanty said...

can tell you that bands with two drummers made punk rock necessary
amazing pictures of nature.

7:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some people have no sense of humor. I am a 56 year old Deadhead who went to nearly 100 shows, and most of these are not only hilarious, but pretty on target..."vegans smoking cigarettes," "Grateful Dad," "body odor" (why is not bathing considered an expression of freedom? Jesus!), tie-dye fashions, Weir's outfit (and the beard, Bob, Christ, the beard has got to go!), the "dance," white guys with dreads (my g/f calls them trustafarians...rich 20-something hippies with trust funds following the Dead) and worst of all, the drumming (coming back from a show at Meadowlands, this kid once sat down in the aisle, pulled out a set of bongos and started drumming...I said, "Yo dude, I'm tired...can you give it a rest. What makes you think everyone in this bus wants to hear you bang on that thing."...it was after midnight...I think most people were aghast that I "killed the vibe, man," but guess what...he stopped).

9:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck off you bunch of judge mental republican pricks! I have a Vw Bug I'd like to drive up your up tight asses!

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So everyone who hates the Grateful Dead is a Republican. Brilliant.

Mellow out, man. I think the fumes from your retro-cool VW are making you light-headed.

3:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"HOPE THEY DIE - HOPE SAN FRANCISCO DIES FOR HAVING SUPPORTED THEM BLINDLY FOR ALL THESE YEARS." What a fucking psycho. You hope a whole city dies. Eat a dick, jerk off.

8:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't blame him for leaving you

8:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

youre and idiot!!!

11:40 PM  
Blogger oconnellc182 said...

The grateful dead was the last truly American thing you could be apart of. What's more American than gettin on the road, hitch hiking, or hoppin the rails to follow the greatest Band of all time

10:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So what exactly do you consider as "acceptable" music?

5:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! all this nasty negativity toward this person for making jokes about our favorite band?

I love The Dead.I have family that have been loving The Dead since the 1960s!

They would NEVER write such nasty, hate filled drivel to this person nor would I.

We would laugh at some of it (because it's true!)
We would shake our heads at some of it
(because we know this person just doesn't get it).

I hope one day he does for his sake!
But until then I respect his opinion.
I actually had a good laugh over some of this.

All of you writing nasty comments toward this man:
We are not fans of the 'Hateful' Dead.
The Dead community doesn't need you representing.
We don't want you supporting our cause if that's your attitude.

You are NOT one of us if this is how you handle another human being
joking around about the band.

Bob doesn't like that attitude nor did Jerry.
They've said it many, many times.

Also to those of you dosing peoples drinks etc.
because they've voiced their objections to the band:

Excuse me?! How dare you do that to another human being?!
I don't think so!

Again, you are NOT one of us if that's your m.o.
You've fooled yourself into believing
you're something you absolutely are not if that's the case.

Get your head straight!
Then and only then come back to see us.

We will be waiting with open arms.

8:10 AM  
Anonymous Geoff said...

If one drummer is good, two is great. And you suck! :-)

6:54 AM  
Blogger Larry Berry said...

I once saw a hippy chick do that horrible twirling stinky dance at a Cure show. I was aghast! (It was during 'One Hundred Years'.)

7:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's the old hippie that made us sick,
He wrote muzak for drug addicts
He's the fat geezer who talked too much,
He used drugs as a crutch
He ate granola and he hugged trees,
Looked like a dog bit by fleas
Had a beer belly and a tye-dyed shirt,
Said he'd live forever but now he sleeps in dirt

[Chorus]
Jerry was a piece of shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
I'm Grateful that he's dead, dead, dead, dead, dead!

Like Jim Bakker he went far,
Turned stadiums into singles bars,
Did all of the drugs in San Francisco,
Wrote 20 albums of long-haired disco.
Then he sang "I Will Survive"...
Look who is no longer alive!
So all you fuckers in your VW vans,
Preppy dink hackysack clan,
Wallstreet twats with ponytail hair,
Your BMW's with dancing bears.
He was an icon, he was a god,
He racked in your cash in wads.
You were conned by a useless slob,
The tours are over so get a job!

Jerry was a piece of shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
I'm Grateful that he's dead, dead, dead, dead, dead!

9:15 PM  
Blogger NUMDUD said...

The Grateful Dead might be tolerable and perhaps even interesting at times if not for the Deadhead Cult that worships them. Is Jerry Garcia any relation to the Reverend Moon?

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Most to all your reasons make no sense, I'd like to see you get off your lazy ass and play concerts like theirs for as long as they've played and as good as them, and punk rockers are also known for their drug use, pot is not as bad as heroine and coke, I've been in a grateful dead cover band for 3 years man and i also have been in a punk rock band for longer, there's no reason to put down an entire group of people for no reason, it takes more skill to noodle for 12 mins rather than just play simple bar chords for 5, your hatred for the dead and dead heads like myself just derive from a preconceived notion of superiority, and while you grab a dictionary and thesaurus to look up what i just said, why don't you take a listen to songs like "estimated prophet" and "touch of grey"

11:30 AM  
Blogger Linus Platt said...

It is astonishing to me how a person (such as yourself) can go through great efforts to publish such negativity about something that has nothing to do with the world at large. If you don't enjoy the Dead's music, don't listen to it. There are really only two main schools of thought regarding The music of the Grateful Dead: I f you enjoy it, behold it, if you do not, fuck off... You are best focusing your energies elsewhere.

9:25 PM  
Blogger dizzygirlio said...

9 years later ... hate isn't a strong enough word.

11:06 AM  
Blogger Clark Gwent said...

The music oh the music. You want critique of the music? Simple! What do they do that someone else doesn't do better?
1) No memorable songs.
2) The country rock thing:- The Band, Byrds, (etc) do better.
3) The noodling. Man Can Gong etc do better.

11:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a load of shite people write.
Get a life, or preferably more than one.
Become a deadhead and enjoy everything else as well.

12:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too bad they really did believe in the devil.

11:47 AM  
Blogger miles throckmorton said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Burn in he'll u faggot piece of fucking shit consuming fag u can kill urself I hope u do plzzzzz do it IM BEGGING JUST HANG UR SELF U FUCKING CUNT!!

5:01 PM  
Blogger Aquarian said...

I find the Dead boring. FLY JEFFERSON AIRPLANE.

7:34 AM  
Blogger Austin Wyatt said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Austin Wyatt said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reason #62:

Their "music" rambles on, yet says NOTHING. Nothing at all.

...the Dead were the best pet CIA project, EVER. Successfully co-opted an entire social-political movement and reduce it to aggressive, say-nothing music and product placement.

Enjoy John Mayer. You all deserve him. ;)

9:18 AM  
Blogger Merriweather said...

Shoddy, flim-flam of a "musical" project that was really, no more than muzak for the hippie version of the cock-tail party.

1:46 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Im 20 and I love the dead sorry im not the guy who likes rap and electric dance Music more kids my age should embrace the righteousness of music that came from the Sole instead of shit thats made specifically for the radio yea they are all rich as fuck now but. Thats not why they made the music

8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to know a deadhead...he makes Tie Dyes too...anyway..he once said doing Cocaine was uncool in the DEADHEAD scene which i found hilarious because ol Jerry, who used to be known as Captain Trips died when he was Captain SPEEDBALL....

12:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Sugar Magnolia" is an amazing piece of - haha - musical alchemy, if you consider that 4 guys singing off-key produces a "harmony." Gotta love stupid songs (about f***ing), and the people who worship them.

7:36 PM  
Blogger Ben K. said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:45 PM  
Blogger Ben K. said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:49 PM  
Blogger Ben K. said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:50 PM  
Blogger Ben K. said...

I have to say everyone of these points are accurate, and why I love the scene so much; although Phish I have to agree isn't for me. The fact that you can let it all out man, just let it explode into a ball of fire as you fly. It becomes a philosophy that you live by, I really could care less about anything; no one is hear to judge. There are a few egotistical assholes everywhere you go who feel they are above everyone else, but that is not what we are all about. Come with us we'll show you the way, if you get confused just listen to the music play!

10:52 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

Look at you, you look like a fat ms piggy. Of course he left you

5:25 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

Lol look at you hating on the boys and Family. Lol what happened in 71 to make the scene end in 71? Lol that is seriously the dumbest thing I have ever heard. 1st off I figured you were talking about the scene was dead when pigpen died but he didn't die until 73. It's funny that you say you "follow the live Grateful Dead from 68-72 and the fact that you never toured" shows that you have 0 clue what is going on. It's pretty comical that you say the magic was over in 71 to never happen again but every Dead historian as well as band member say the best show was Cornell 5/8/77. Ever heard of it? You also state you saw the greatest music for a 15 year period? I mean really old guy. Wtf are you talking about because you are all over the map and probably making shit up as you go

5:35 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

Oh yea, very funny with all of this laughter trashing a band that you claim to of seen over 100 times.

5:37 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

Oh really, you must of never seen any of the bs the boys have written about the fans, the lot, each other. Nope they have never done any of that right. Or maybe you should google Phil Lesh and Steve kimmock fued. Or Jill and Phil Leah and the bs they talked to fans live and made videos of it. Know your shit dummy or don't talk

5:40 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

Oh and you must be a almighty great one.

5:41 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

You must feel proud of yourself.

5:41 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

Lol, name one band of this caliber that doesn't have a "cult" like following? Oh wait you can't

5:43 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

You know how many punk musicians died of herion for example? Way more than the number that died in the Dead

5:44 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

Great response.

5:44 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

Lmao no memorable songs lol. You must be a guy that likes the greatest hits lol. The byrds and the band did it better huh? Lmao maybe you didn't realize that Bob Dylan asked to join join this band and got rejected dummy. You can easily google that as it happened in 89 smart guy.

5:48 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

Oh you used google to look up propaganda and lies. Lol fail loser, and if they did who cares. Let me guess you are one of those types of people who believes that it's ok to judge someone that sins differently than you? Fail

5:50 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

Oh you tried so hard to be relevant didn't you?

5:51 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

and those cocktails are great sweet pea

5:51 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

First you should probably learn the correct number of people in the band. What a pathetic comment that obviously shows that you don't even know what you are talking about.

5:53 PM  
Blogger Jason E said...

It's pretty funny that this idiot took the time to actually write all of these lies and bs. I'll simply point out one for you. This idiot mentions that the Dead had a 100% keyboard death rate. I mean at least do some research before you try to trash this band. If you had any sense then you know that Tom Constantine who played in the 60's-70s when pigpen was either dying of cancer or the band wasn't playing blues is still alive in 2016. Or how about Bruce Hornsby you idiot. I get it though, there is plenty of reasons to hate. I mean why wouldn't you, you punk rock bands for the most part started in the 70's and didn't even make it to the 80's. Also you talk about the band not having any memorable songs. Nope none of the many 100' that they wrote or the nearly 200 cover songs that they played. You know Johnny b good is a horrible song right for a cover song. The dead played it as did how many of your shitty punk band? It's funny as fk that you people are crying about the length of the songs, but you must be very happy and feel like you got your money's worth in the 8 three minute songs that your punk band played. Another thing it's interesting that you idiots are pointing gingers about jerry dying of a drug od edict is false as it was actually a heart attack, or how you losers think it's cute and you are a "real important person" to talk about the Dead and fans drug use but clearly seem to have no problem with your punk bands herion or alcohol intake. You people also like to point out about hippies smelling bad or hygiene issues but must think that punk band members smell good? Maybe your think that the smell of puke smells good, or the whole Sid and Nancy story is awesome as is the murder, heroin, suicide, the fact that he Sid was a horrible musician. Or maybe you should ask yourself this. The Grateful Dead have been around over 5o years have a huge following of like minded people and even with Dead & Company this past summer they sold out almost everywhere they played including Fenway Park can your face band or rapper say they have been around for 5o years and still this relevant in 2016? Fk no you can't. Thanks for the laughs losers and to you Family, keep GDTRFB.and know that our Ive will NFA

6:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey man, it's America, he can say whatever he wants.

6:55 PM  
Blogger Ben K. said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

3:28 AM  
Blogger Ben K. said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

4:02 AM  
Blogger Ben K. said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

4:03 AM  
Blogger Ben K. said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

4:06 AM  
Blogger Ben K. said...

The music of the Grateful Dead is pointless without the scene, and I abandoned the scene long ago that led nowhere fast. This realization was a real bummer, in realizing the band didn't practice what they preached in their music. It may have been Jerry hurting the most who wanted out, but could do nothing as time travel doesn't exist to fix your mistakes. Why drop out of society with Timothy Leary and Ken Kesey, never trust a prankster right? Why not be an active participant, there is no counterculture that has to exist and Garcia hated the word. They were great musicians for their time and should have ended it there, they got comfortable with their paychecks; yeah I said it. I don't blame Phil Lesh as he may have awoken to the 21st century, let's be honest Bob Weir hasn't stepped onto a hippy commune in forty plus years if at all. The band didn't inhale and never wore tie-dye, they fed you the bullshit and at the end of the day cashed out with Warner Brothers to their fenced in communities leaving the acid at the door. Garcia was right, the Grateful Dead out of San Francisco ended as we all knew it with the passing of Pigpen and that reality hit them hard; Robert Hunter was smart to part ways. I have to forgive them all, I know I do as their dedication to the music is still on the record books and we can all give them that. We really all are a ship of fools, get it now? They stole your face and your money too, just be happy you got out alive.

4:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the guy who wrote the article is so tough, then he wouldn't have to remove peoples comments. Just another insecure fag trying to put something he can't grasp down.

2:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree %100. I met Bob Weir...total selfish ahole, arrogant and self righteous. I discovered he is NOT intelligent but a TOTAL FRAUD AS A MAN.
THE GD STINK COMPARED TO YOUNGER GUYS BUT NO ONE WILL GIVE THW YOUNG GUYS A CHANCE.BECAUSE.THE DEAD.AND THEIR FANS ARW TOTAL AHOLES AND AS LFISH AND ARROGANT

6:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree Bob Weir is a total self a hole. Anybody who supports the GD have NEVER MET THEM AS PEOPLE = BECAUSE THEY SUCK AS PEOPLE or you are making money with them. BIGGEST BUNCH OF ASSHOOES.THAT EVER WALKED ON THE FACE.OF THE EARTH
RUINED.THE PEACE MOVEMENT FOR THIER GREED!

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I assume.you are.talking about BoB Weir...u ever.met.the guy?

Total asshole!

6:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't worry. God WILL damn the souls of everyone who supported these EVIL FUCKERS straight to hell with assholes' bucket!

7:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jerry Garcia was an ASSHOLE WHO BETRAYED A LIITLE BOY FROM THE PROTESTANT MOVEMENT BAPTIST/LUTHERAN CHURCHES WHO TRAINED THE KID.
THE GRATEFUL DEAD SHOULDNBENDRAGGED OUT ONTO THE STREET AND HUNG FROM A TREE. JEROME ASSHOLE GARCIA DESERVED TO DIE A HORRIBLE DWATH FOR WJAT HE AND BOB DID TO THAT KID!
FUCK THE REMAINING BAND MEMEBERS, THIER FAMILIES, THIER FANS AND THE CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO!

7:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ever notice that Deadheads are always the first guys to get married and take on white-collar employment? What a corporate schlock-fest! #sockswithsandals #weekendtiedyedad

4:17 PM  

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